Homosexuality, its effects and
Islam
In this post I would like
to talk about what is exactly considered homosexuality in Islam and some of the
harmful effects of gay sex and culture. Please read the whole post before making
any judgements.
Firstly, I want to clarify that in Islam, what is considered homosexuality and a
sin is NOT the feelings of desire towards the same gender, what is considered a
sin is having a sexual relationships with the same gender due to its harmful
effects which will be explained later in this post. Feeling desire for sinful
things such as desiring drinking alcohol, or adultery, or gambling …etc, is not
a sin as long as one does not “act” upon the desire. It is the same with gay
sex. So if someone feels intimate/sexual desires for the same gender, then they
are NOT committing a sin nor are they considered bad as long as they do not have
a sexual relationship with them.
Secondly, the talk about homosexuals and “suppressing one’s sexuality” is based
on the notion that people are “born” gay, which is something disagreed upon even
by scientists and doctors. Through my experience and research, I discovered that
many of those who practice sex with the same gender, or have sexual desire
towards them, have actually “developed” it, and were not “born” with it. The
Quran also implies that homosexuality is not something which is natural like
heterosexuality, because Allah (God) said in the Quran that the people of Lot’s
approaching of men with desire instead of women is something which no one before
them had done (verses 7:80-81). The sexual desire towards the same gender is
caused by outside factors and not through genes. I know people who started to
developed desire for the same sex in their adulthood due to a certain
experience, while not having such desire before, and they never imagined they
would ever have sexual desires towards the same gender. Experimenting, one’s
environment or social life, upbringing, watching deviant porn, sexual abuse
…etc. are things which can cause sexual deviance of any type, including
homosexuality, bestiality, incest, sadism …etc to develop. Due to this, Islam
commanded that certain things not to be done (even though they don’t seem
harmful) to prevent homosexual desire from developing. For example, Islam forbid
individuals of the same gender from looking at each other’s private parts, and
forbid them from sleeping under the same covering. Other things such as watching
any type of porn, and doing sexual abuse is definitely forbidden and obviously a
clear sin. And Islam also tells us to keep away from sinful environments and
gatherings, and to choose one’s friends well, because it affects a person.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “A man should not see the
private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of
another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and
a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.” (Sahih Muslim).
I know a sister who developed this desire in her early adulthood when she stayed
over at a friend’s house and slept with her under one sheet, not thinking
anything wrong with it since they are both females and just friends, but later
the bare skin of their shins touched unintentionally during sleep (her friend
was already asleep) then she started to feel some sexual excitement, which
shocked her, and awakened in her this desire. I’ve also met a brother online who
had a similar experience that happened to him in his adulthood. But both the
brother and sister did not become suicidal or feel sexually suppressed because
of this, because they do not believe that a person is “born” homosexual or bi,
and they understand the reasons that caused such desire, and they have enough
knowledge of Islam to know that their “feelings of desire” are not a sin in
itself, and only practicing it is a sin. There is also a young Arab brother who
lives in the middle east who wrote a comment in a discussion I had about this
topic on youtube and mentioned that he and some of his friends have done
homosexual acts with each other in the past for fun and pleasure, but when they
became older they quit doing it and repented. There are also those who have
spoken about how “experimenting” has made them develop this desire and become
addicted to it. And there are boys who became gay due to being sexually abused
by men in their childhood or youth.
As for the argument about some animals exhibiting “homosexual” behavior,
firstly, the term “homosexual behavior” when applied to animals seems to be much
broader than what is considered homosexuality in humans. If two male animals
care for or parent a baby, it is considered “homosexual” even if they never
mated nor show signs of sexual attraction. If two human male friends who have no
sexual desire towards each other and have no sexual relationship with each
other, raised a child who was in need care, would they be considered gay? I
don’t think so. In the animal world, in some species, the males are the ones who
care for the eggs and offspring. Secondly, even though we share many things with
the animal kingdom, we are not complete animals. We are rational beings and
differ with animals in many things in our way of life. Some animal species
practice infanticide and cannibalism, would that mean that it would be a normal
acceptable behavior in humans? Some animals were also seen doing what we call
“necrophilia”, they were trying to mate with a dead corpse of their own species.
That is definitely not something that would be normal nor acceptable among
humans. Not every animal behavior is normal or acceptable for humans. Irrational
animal behavior cannot be used to determine what is morally acceptable behavior
for rational man.
As for some of the harmful effects of homosexual sex, culture and marriage, I
will discuss them in several points, after a very short introduction:
From the principles and goals of Islam is the protection of: life, religion,
wealth, lineage/offspring, and intellect. Health (mental and/or physical) would
be included in 3 of these categories: life, intellect, and lineage. And life
includes one’s own life and others lives. Homosexual practice affects at least 2
of these categories which is “life/health” and “lineage/offspring”. Allowing the
practice of gay sex openly, accepting it socially, and legalizing it and gay
marriage has opened the doors to:
1. “Open relationships”:
Homosexual practice and culture encourages having sex with more than one
partner, OR is “open” to it, including in marriage. A big number of gay men are
in relationships that are “open”, meaning they have sex with men other than
their partner with the approval of their partner. This includes married gays. It
might be true that not all gay marriages are “open”, and there are some that are
monogamous, but a big number of them are not monogamous, if not the majority.
And even those who are monogamous in their marriage, many of them, if not all of
them, are “OPEN-minded” or “accepting” of marriage with open relationships,
meaning they find it acceptable if two married gays decide to have their
relationship an open one where they have sex with other men sometimes. This is
considered normal gay culture. Here is one article that discusses this [there
are more if you research] :
http://www.thedatereport.co dating/modern- love/when- gay-couples-get-
married-are- they- monogamous
This is contrary to hetero marriages, which are monogamous. And even though
there are many men or women who cheat in marriage and sleep with someone else,
it is done in secret, frowned upon, considered sinful/immoral/betrayal/sinful,
and is unacceptable in hetero culture, and was not a topic of debate or argument
in past history. But now, after gay marriage has become acceptable, and the gay
culture has come to the open, and some talking about how the gay culture of
accepting “open relationships” in marriage being a “solution” to marriage
problems, and claiming that it helps marriage last longer; some heteros have
become accepting or “open” to the idea, and even started to practice it! This
could spread more in future generations who grow up in such societies, which
will have negative consequences on family life and society.
2. Depriving children of one of their
basic rights.
The issue regarding giving birth to children in homosexual
relationships/marriages: Children who are born into such relationships are not
given the choice or right to be with both of their biological parents. Not
because one of them is dead or because of divorce or because they were abandoned
by them, but because one parent gave precedence to their own desires over the
right of the child. Some children might not mind, but there are those who do
mind, are affected by it, and suffer emotional problems due to being
intentionally deprived from one of their biological parents for the pleasure of
the other parent. People talk about the happiness of homosexual partners, but
what about the happiness of those affected by this relationships (i.e. children)
? One woman who was raised by her lesbian mother and her partner wrote about her
experience and how it affected her:
http://thefederalist.com dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/
This reminded me of a high school girl who was raised by her lesbian mother and
her female partner. I saw this girl mention several times that she had no
father, she said it in a sad and pitiful way. And when someone tried to ask her
for some details about it, she said that she didn’t like talking about it. This
made me feel that this issue bothered her enough for her to dislike talking
about it. There is also the issue of “open relationships” and having several
partners being quite normal in the gay culture and community, as I showed
previously. In such households, kids are exposed to things that are harmful to
them, it is an unhealthy environment for a child. See these stories as an
example:
http://cnsnews.com/news/
The difference between hetero parents and homosexual ones is that the problems
in hetero families are due to the individuals themselves not getting along
and/or ending up in divorce, or due to them being abusive or such, which can
also happen in homosexual relationships. But there is an extra problem in
homosexual relationships, which is that the child is deprived of one of his/her
biological parents due to one of their parents sexual relationship itself, in
addition to the widespread culture of open relationships in the gay community
even in marriage.
3. Increased spreading of diseases,
including deadly ones.
Anal cancer and HIV infections are found in gay men MUCH more than heterosexuals
due to gay men practicing anal sex a lot more, even when both have the same
number of partners, and that is because the risk of HIV infection is 18 to 20
times higher in anal sex than vagina sex, the same with other STDs. See here
about the AIDS epidemic among gays:
http://abcnews.go.com/ Also see:
http://www.aidsmeds.com/
And men who have sex with men are 17 times more likely to develop anal cancer
than heterosexual men. See here:
http://www.cdc.gov/
In Islam, one of the great principles is : “There should be neither harming nor
reciprocating harm.” (A saying of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him).
That is why in Islam, all sexual behavior that cause harm to oneself or others
is forbidden, including sex out of marriage (fornication/adultery) which often
leads to unwanted pregnancies then abortion, or abandoning of the baby, and also
the spread of STDs …etc. Also anal sex is totally forbidden in Islam, even with
one’s wife, because its harm exceeds its benefits (its benefit only being
pleasure for some). Same with alcohol, the Quran (Islam’s holy book) mentions
that it has “some” benefits, but its harm exceeds its benefit. Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said: “Immorality never appears among a people to such an
extent that they commit it openly, but plagues and diseases that were never
known among the predecessors will spread among them.” I believe AIDS is an
example of a disease not known in past history and is spread by immoral sex more
than any other method. If sex with someone, or that is done a certain way,
requires “protection” from harm (e.g. through using pills or condemns, which do
not guarantee 100% safety), then that sexual behavior should be questionable,
because sex should naturally be a healthy thing, and not something that is
risky. If a man and woman only had sex in marriage and the natural way (i.e.
vagina and not anal), there wouldn’t be health risks. This is one of the reasons
why sex outside of marriage for men and women, and gay sex is forbidden in
Islam.
People today seem to accept almost any type of sexual method and any partner as
long as it gives them pleasure and happiness. Many are even starting to accept
incestuous relationships between siblings. And bestiality/zoophilia is legal in
some countries and some states. Saying that a person is free to have sex as they
please with whomever they please without limits as long as both partners agree,
is viewing sex pleasure itself as a goal and purpose in life, so whatever gives
you this pleasure then go for it. This way of thinking can cause the downfall of
family and society. The consequences that will result from such behavior in the
long run should not be overlooked or taken lightly, especially when reversing it
and the damage it caused after it spreads will be extremely difficult. The main
purpose of sex in nature is reproduction, and pleasure comes with it, and is a
benefit. God made sex pleasurable in order for life to continue existing.
Imagine if there was no pleasure with sex, then what would make humans practice
it? Even those who have desire to have children would do it enough times just to
have 1 or 2 children then quit, since there wouldn’t be other benefits from it,
and it would not be something desired; and having 1 or 2 children would not help
humanity survive especially with many deaths caused by wars, illnesses,
starvation, murder, suicide …etc, in addition to some not being able to give
birth to children due to health problems. But because sex is pleasurable, people
do it often for many many years, increasing the chance of having a good number
of children, which helps humanity survive. In Islam, the main purpose of sex is
reproduction and the strengthening of the love and bond between the spouses, so
pleasure is a major benefit of it and is sought, but it is not the “sole”
purpose, for that reason, not just any sexual method that attains pleasure is
acceptable, only the safe method (does not cause harm or health risks) is
permissible. Again, pleasure is a purpose, but not the “sole” purpose meaning
that not all sexual behavior is acceptable just because it results in pleasure.
Another important thing to remember is that desiring something does not make it
automatically OK or right to do. Right and wrong is NOT based on the love and
desire for something, but other things, including harm and benefit, especially
on family life and society as a whole (which in turn effects individuals).
Allah says in the Quran (2:216) : {and it may be that you dislike a thing which
is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but
you do not know.}
Lastly, someone might say: But whom one loves and feels desire towards is out of
their control, are you saying that a person can never have their sexual desires
fulfilled just because they are not able to love someone of the opposite gender?
The Answer: This question is based on the idea that a person is “born” gay,
which is not proven to be a fact and is disputed. There are homosexuals who
thought they only had desire for the same gender, but discovered later after
meeting someone of the opposite gender who awakened the love in their heart,
that they can have desire for the opposite gender. Many who say they are
homosexual assumed they were homosexual based on some particular experience or
due to circumstances, then later something happens that makes them feel
attraction towards the opposite sex and they become confused. This is the result
of the spreading of the belief that there are people who are born homosexual,
and children being raised to believe such. So if a young person’s first
experience with sexual desire was directed to the same gender for some reason
and they haven’t met any girl that attracted them, they tend to assume they are
homosexual and have attraction only towards their gender, and live thinking so.
There are even those who claim they were gay since they were 5 or 8 years old,
how does a 5 year old know they are gay when they don’t even have sexual desire
nor know what sex is?! And some very young children confuse their love and
strong attachment to a person of the same gender with homosexuality because they
don’t have the correct understanding of what homosexuality is. They hear about
“love for someone of the same sex” so they think it means the love they feel
towards someone who is not a family member that resulted from strong admiration
or the extra attention and care they got from the person, without knowing that
it is related to sexual attraction, and not just love without sexual attraction
and desire. See this man’s story as an example for someone who assumed he was
gay but in reality he wasn’t :
http://www.theguardian.com/ lifeandstyle/2013/jul/21/ gay-man-
attracted-to-women Due to this fact, and the belief that homosexual desires are
developed and not a gene, I believe that all who think they are homosexuals are
actually bi-sexual, and that no one is really homosexual, even though they think
they are. They just need to change their environment or social life and
relationships, and meet the right person to help them realize that they can have
a good sexual relationship with the opposite gender (in marriage).